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Let&#39;s meet contestant number one
he&#39;s a skitsofrantic, serial killer clown
who says, woman love his sexy smile
let&#39;s find out if his charm will work on sharon
sharon, what&#39;s your question?
Contestant number one,
i believe first impressions last forever
so let&#39;s say you were to come over to my parent&#39;s house
and have dinner with me and my family
tell me what you would do to make
that first impression really stick
Let&#39;s see, uh, well, i&#39;d have to think about it
i might show up in a tux, ha, but i doubt it
i&#39;d probably just show up naked like i always do
and look your momma in the eye and tell her, fuck you
hurry up bitch, i&#39;m hungry, i smell spaghetti
i&#39;d pinch her limpy ass and tell her, get the food ready
your dad will probably start tripping and get me pissed
i&#39;d have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips
it&#39;s dinner time, we hearing grace from your mother
i pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother
i&#39;m steady staring at your sister, i&#39;ll tell you this
you know for only 13, she got some big tits
after that, your dad will try to jump again
and only this time, i&#39;d put the forty to his chin
after you mom does the dishes and the silverware
i&#39;d dry-fuck her till i nut in my underwear
Now, let&#39;s me contestant number two
he&#39;s a psychopathic, deranged, crackhead freak
who works for the dark carnival
he says women call him stretch nuts
sharon, let&#39;s hear your question
I like a man who&#39;s not afraid to show his true emotions
a man who expresses himself in his own special way
number two, if you fell in love with me
exactly how would you let me know?
First thing, i could never love you
you sound like a richie-bitch, yo, fuck you
but if i did, i&#39;d probably show you that i care
by taking all these other motherfuckers outta here
i&#39;d go through your phone book and whack em all
and find contestant number one and break his fucking jaw (what?)
anyone who looked at you, would have to pay
i&#39;d be blowing fucking nuggets off all day
i&#39;d grab your titties and stretch em down past your waist
let em go, and watch em both spring up in your face
i&#39;d sing love songs to you, the best i can
get you naked, and hit it like a caveman
when we go to the beach and walk through the sand
i throw a little in your face and say, i&#39;m just playin
as you spit it all out, i&#39;d rub your back
and grab your underwear and wedge it up your ass crack
Well it sounds like contestant number two
is just over-flowing with sensativity, sharon
it&#39;s a tough choice so far
sharon, let&#39;s have your last question and
see which one is going to win the rights to your neden
Okay, if we were at a dance club, and you both noticed me at the
same time. tell me, how would you each get my attention, and what would
your pick up line be? well, whoever&#39;s the smoothest wins
Okay, first i&#39;d slide up to the bar
and tell you that i can&#39;t believe how fucking fat you are
i&#39;d tell that i like the way you make your titties shake
and if you lost a little weight, you&#39;d look like rikki lake

Fuck that, you&#39;d be jacking me quick
i&#39;d order you a drink and stir it with my dick
and then to get your attention in the crowded place
i&#39;d simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face
Yeah, freak with your nuts, yo, that&#39;ll get her
tell her that&#39;s she fat, yeah, that&#39;ll work even better
look, fuck you, i got a strong rap
shit, you don&#39;t want contestant number two
he&#39;s mad-wack
I walk into a barn and there he was
standing up on a bucket, eww, trying to fuck it
it was a big fucking smelly, ass farm llama
damn dawg how you gonna diss your momma

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